1. |
Special Kind Of Taste
04:46
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Feel like I'm on a train
Replacement bus service
Somewhere between a Rock
and a Hard Place
Stuck in traffic
On my way to my mid-thirties
Listening to drill
Through someone else's headphones
Am I lost in space or a mouse in a pharmaceutical rat race?
I won't wait while the boss does trials with the smile upon my face
To chase the piece of cheese that wasn't there in the first place
To salivate at nothingness leaves a special kind of taste
Like I've been placed on hold
On a premium line
By the help desk
Dealing with my sanity
In the prime of my life
Watching the washing machine
Spinning away
While a robot thanks me for my patience
Am I lost in space or a mouse in a pharmaceutical rat race?
I won't wait while the boss does trials with the smile upon my face
To chase the piece of cheese that wasn't there in the first place
To salivate at nothingness leaves a special kind of taste
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2. |
Having a Domestic
03:38
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Am I the spawn of the devil?
Or a square peg for a round hole?
You said 'it's a forest'
I said 'trees'
It's a domestic
And that's war on TV
I've heard there's a world outside
The border of our kitchen blinds
Am I a cold satanic reptile?
Or is it just not your cup of tea?
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3. |
Daylight From Ear To Ear
03:13
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I look down at the street
I can't count sheep
Maybe that mattress would help me sleep
Even the dealers have gone back home
And now it's just me and the moon alone
Roll up! The circus starts
The mind's acrobatics
The jumping heart
Dancing loved ones in the car park
While I grovel in the dark
For a meaning in the wall
And I see death's coming to us all
While my head's full of concerns
Like completing my tax return
At 4am it's clear as a tunnel of daylight
Going from ear to ear
Before it disappears
And missing the U6 becomes my biggest fear
But now it's all here before my eyes
A stellar performance in the night
Cue actors from wardrobe stage right
What's grandma doing here?
And what am I doing with my life
Apart from staring at my bedside light?
While the clock keeps ticking like a gong being chimed
I'm busy eating myself
There's a meaning in the wall
It's death coming to us all
While my head's full of concerns
Like completing my tax return
At 4am it's clear as a tunnel of daylight
Going from ear to ear
Before it disappears
And missing the U6 becomes my biggest fear
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4. |
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Does the man playing Wham! also have the blues?
When you've got insomnia why press the snooze?
My head feels like it's full of crossword clues
And in each across and down I fill the space with you
It's hard to find the time to do much else
I pick up War and Peace and put it back on the shelf
Watch half a documentary on mental health
And then I turn it off so I can talk to myself
Because romancing has become my new pastime
And I've made this whole narrative in my mind
In which you turn this urban void to luscious fields
It's a nice hobby when you know that it's not real
'Continue to exist' is on the list to do
Because nothing gets ticked when I think of you
While panelists on Question Time argue
I'm floating on a planet with a different view
Is the neighbour five flights through the window pane
Washing up trying to find a higher plane?
And can they see me going quietly insane?
Trying to find a window into your brain
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5. |
Stag Do
03:55
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Stag do, you know you don't have to
Strip and lick drinks off the floor
And refer to women as whores if you don't want to
And Stag do, you know you don't have to
Try to prove that you're a hunk
By getting your stomach pumped if you don't want to
Because it's all good banter
Until you are the guy
Fighting to keep the tears
back from your eyes
Or even with a random passer-by
And the best man in a chicken shop at night
Because I know you're not a robot in disguise
You're just a man with a short back and sides
And you've been told it's not okay to cry
All your life
Stag do, you know you don't have to
Make wolf whistles and cat calls
To show that you have balls
If you don't want to
Because boys v. girls is what you learn
when you're at Primary School
But when you're in your thirties man,
that doesn't seem quite as cool
Did you know you can be a man
without putting a woman down?
And you can be a woman
even when your friends are around
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6. |
King of Wasterland
02:52
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The conversation's run dry as my mouth
We talk about getting high on nights out
Am I floating round in a room or hipster vacuum?
Kind of sucks when you're stuck after 'so what do you do?'
I can feel my brain cells are dying
At least my body will get a nice lie-in
I'll be cooler than thou and so underground
No bouncer in Berlin could turn me down
They'll say he's no ordinary man
He's going to be the King of Wasterland
Now I can hear the birds are singing
But the party here is just beginning
I'm admiring the sky with a Swedish guy
I can see outer space when I look in his eyes
And now I've got this powerful feeling
That later on I'll be admiring my ceiling
Will I fall through the cracks or get to Lidl and back?
Is heaven just a prelude to a panic attack?
They'll say he's no ordinary man
He's going to be the King of Wasterland
So tell me how you spend your time?
Well mainly I get messy and hoover lines
And then people come from far and wide
To gather round my sofa where I slowly writhe
And chant; Hail! The King of Wasterland!
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7. |
Subletting
03:46
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This isn't my bed
Those aren't my clothes
Whose on the wall are those holiday photos
Nevermind the cuddly bear, the floral dresser
And the drawer full of underwear?
There's the 'Be Happy' heart
By the window with the view of the bins in the courtyard
And the doormat of 'Home Sweet Home'
Where we barely wipe our feet before it's time to go
And if you want to climb the ladder
We can sublet our rungs
You can rent my heart and let my bladder
You can start a lease on my lungs
They have no taste in furnishings
There's a big deposit so we can't burn everything
Or sell it to pay the rent
Even the rubber duck should be unscratched at the end
When the landlady comes to view any stains in the oven
After her trip round Peru
And our journey starts where it began
Travelling round the city in the back of a transit van
And if you want to climb the ladder
We can sublet your rungs
You can rent my heart and let my bladder
You can start a lease on my lungs
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8. |
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I woke up on a sofa. I didn't know where I was for a second. It was cold and dark and there was what sounded like a
pneumatic drill coming from outside the window. I switched on my phone and glanced at the news. All indicators were
that the apocalypse was nigh. I opened the shutters but there was no light or workman, just a sea of people dressed
in black, perhaps a funeral for the end of the world. Then I remembered that I'd just arrived in Berlin and someone
had said;
'Weirdos dance in dark places
Because the world doesn't like our faces'
Because I'd said 'how do you say 'how do you say' in German?'
'And why am I here anyway?'
'And do you know the date or time?'
'Sure, September 1st 1939'
I went outside to investigate what the noise was. It was freezing underfoot and everywhere I looked there were people
dancing, drinking, kissing and pissing. Then I realised that for some reason I wasn't wearing any shoes. Perhaps I'd
thrown them in the canal in some kind of futile protest against capitalism? It wasn't long before I stumbled into a park
surrounded by guys in sequin vests and riot police attempting to dismantle a PA system. But when they did, the drilling
was still there.
'Weirdos dance in dark places
Because the world doesn't like our faces'
I was still feeling pretty disorientated, perhaps because I was in a new country under the influence of various stimulants.
Then I saw some people being shepherded out of the park who were carrying banners about discrimination and a
few guys with as much money as half the world's population and I realised it wasn't 1939, it was May Day 2017
and the noise was in fact that of a whole world in drunken disrepair being drilled in the back of my cranium.
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9. |
Bean Bags
02:39
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I can't shake this sense of doom
I keep waking up in a living room
With a sofa cushion in my arms
And a mind going round like the U-Bahn
Like most people of my age
I'm thirty one years old nowadays
With more speed on my card than credit saved
And my assets in a travel bag
I only go for independent types
Busy leading independent lives
But one day we'll walk down the U8 aisle
With no fear at all of strangers' smiles
And everything will be okay
Well that's what mum said anyway
In the meantime I'll just stay awake
While my heart makes a techno beat
And we'll have a dynamo disco
With the lights from our bikes
And the sound below
Of the busker's saxaphone
In the all night tube station echo
But in the morning you'll be gone
Just a figment of the dating app I met you on
But our start-up feels secure with bean bags galore
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10. |
Serious Fomo
03:42
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The Lonely Planet Guide didn't specify the crippling feeling of isolation in this city at all
When you're looking in bar windows like Kevin in Home Alone 2
And you're kicking a can along the pavement while they have a ball
And I know I probably won't go to my grave with FOMO
But online everyone's smiling in their photos
The couple below aren't moaning because their flat is too cold
And I'm trying everybody in the phonebook
That guy I made in the queue to that nightclub
Who said he loved me and gave me a big hug
Was that just the techno?
Should I make up a generic name and gatecrash a party at a stranger's place?
Laugh along to conversations in languages I don't understand
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